February 13, 2009
Speaker emphasizes family and fatherhood values in society
David Blankenhorn makes a point in his presentation about the importance of marriage and family values, at the University of Southern Indiana, Feb. 4. (Message photo by Paul R. Leingang) Click for a larger version.
By PAUL R. LEINGANG (Message editor)
“The human child needs a father. The human mother needs a mate.” That is the conclusion reached by David Blankenhorn, in a presentation Feb. 4 at the University of Southern Indiana.
He drew his conclusion from social science research, examining nature and studying cultures. He said that human sexuality “is not oriented to making babies, it is oriented to making couples.”
A child is born helpless, he said, and studies show that the child’s best chance for survival is with his or her mother and father.
Blankenhorn was the featured speaker on the topic, “Marriage: Where Love and Life Transform the World.” He is the founder and president of the Institute for American Values, “a private, nonpartisan organization devoted to contributing intellectually to the renewal of marriage and family life and the sources of competence, character, and citizenship in the United States,” according to his website.
His presentation was sponsored by St. Mary’s Medical Center in Evansville, with additional sponsorship provided by Community Marriage Builders, Catholic Charities, USI Catholic Campus Ministry and the Christian Family Movement.
While Blankenhorn’s support of marriage and fatherhood in society affirm the values of many faith groups, his studies are drawn from various observations.
For example, he cited the laws in Mesopotamia 4,000 years ago, which acknowledged the rights and mutual responsibilities of the father and the child. And in the institution of marriage he said we find the “echoes of the biological” relationship.
“Marriage is a great gift that society gives to its children,” he said. Marriage unifies the biological, the social and the legal “into one thing.”
In regard to the changes in society in the United States, with increasing numbers of children born out of wedlock, he posed a question: “If we are unraveling this [family structure], why wouldn’t this be of enormous consequences?”
In regard to “children who do not grow up in a married home . . . we are denying them their birthright.”
Emphasizing the commitment it takes for a marriage, Blankenhorn cited the German theologian Dietrich Bonhoefer, who sent a letter to a young couple shortly before his death in a concentration camp in 1942. His advice to the young couple on the occasion of their marriage, as Blankenhorn quoted it, was “It won’t be your love that keeps your marriage alive. It is your marriage that keeps your love alive.”
He said there is too much thinking in the United States that marriage is a private thing. He asserted that marriage is “not what we make. It makes us. We don’t make the vows, the vows make us.”
He explained, “When the going gets rough, when you experience a weakness in love, a loss, death, tragedy or boredom, [marriage] is what seeks to keep the love alive.”
He said, “We have a real challenge to re-discover what marriage is.”
Vince Bertram, superintendent of the Evansville Vanderburgh School Corporation and Sheriff Eric Williams of Vanderburgh County were panelists who responded to Blankenhorn’s presentation.
Bertram agreed that the family “plays a tremendous role” in a child’s academic achievement, but he insisted that a child could be raised in a mixed, blended or extended family.
Sheriff Willliams said his own observations identified three categories of people in jail: truly evil people, a very small number; people who cannot manage their anger, and the vast majority of those in jail who have very poor decision-making skills. Those skills come from the family, he observed.
Both Bertram and Sheriff Williams insisted that in practical terms, some children do better if their parents divorce and many children “turn out o.k.” growing up in single parent homes.
All found agreement in the need for early investment in the lives of children. Blankenhorn said his argument was that marriage is the early investment that brings the best results.