February 20, 2009
The Second Half
How far would you go?
BY DEACON JIM AND ANN CAVERA
Plane crashes, catastrophic illness, unemployment, lightning strikes; every day we are exposed to stories of devastation. Most of the time the stories in the media happen so far from home they have little impact on our daily lives. Once in a while, someone close to us gets news so awful they are unable to move under the burden they must bear. Suddenly, we have become the friend of a “paralyzed” man or woman and the question becomes, how far will we go to help a paralyzed friend?
This Sunday’s gospel is one of our favorites because the actions of the victim’s friends provide insight into how to help someone who is going through a rough time. First, the paralyzed man in the gospel had to be ready to accept help from his friends. Sometimes we come up with a plan to help somebody only to find out the other person isn’t ready to be helped. When tragedy strikes, often it can be enough just to be present and wait to help rather than assuming we know how to make things right.
Having the humility to know we don’t have all the answers, or even the best answer is a good place to start. The paralyzed man had four friends and they decided to work together to do whatever they could to change their friend’s life. If only one friend had tried to haul the poor man to the rooftop and lower him down in front of Jesus, the results probably would have been a disaster and left the man in worse shape than he started. Prayer chains, small groups willing to take turns sitting with someone or bring in a hot meal can be more effective than one person trying to meet many needs. It took four friends to provide help for the paralyzed man. That’s a good thing to remember when emotional paralysis strikes close to home.
Traditionally, novenas, rosaries, fasts and pilgrimages to shrines provided ladders for Catholics to “tear the roof off” of Heaven to get help for someone they love. Though not as common as they once were, we need to remember God honors prayer on behalf of others, especially when two or three gather in Jesus’ name (Matthew 18:20). Through prayer, we often gain a new perspective, one that brings a solution that would not have presented itself otherwise. The four friends could do nothing to restore their friend’s health, but they were willing to try something unconventional to get the help he needed.
After all their trouble, even when the man came face-to-face with the only one who could change his life, Jesus left the fate of the paralyzed man in his hands. Jesus forgave the man’s sins, but the paralyzed man had to be willing to pick up his mat and choose a new future. He could have lain there in disbelief, refused to try, clung to the past, and there would have been nothing more Jesus or his friends could have done. That seems to be the bottom line when we offer help to someone else. If a friend, son, daughter, wife or husband has been paralyzed by some addiction, illness or catastrophic event, they must choose to move forward. Until that day comes, all we can do is keep tearing off the roof with prayer and placing them in front of Christ.
Deacon Jim and Ann Cavera are former residents of Evansville; their award-winning column is a regular feature of the Message. Contact them at www.catholicseniorspirit.com.