October 16, 2009
David and Mary Rita Bays
Rockport couple emotional about honor of receiving Bruté award
Mary Rita and David Bays pose for a photograph in front of a ceramic picture of the Last Supper in their kitchen. They are parishioners at St. Bernard Church in Rockport, and will be receiving the 2009 Brute award on Oct. 25. Click for a larger version.
By MARY ANN HUGHES (Message staff writer)
Mary Rita Bays is quite the extrovert, her husband David is pretty quiet, and after 30 years of marriage, they can finish one another’s sentences.
They are long-time parishioners at St. Bernard Church in Rockport, which is a short drive from their home near Reo in Spencer County.
This year their fellow parishioners have nominated them to receive the Bruté award which is given annually in the Diocese of Evansville in recognition of generosity of time, talent and treasure to the Church.
They will be receiving the award, along with 136 others from 55 parishes, at a ceremony on Sunday, Oct. 25, at St. Benedict Cathedral in Evansville. (Related story: Induction ceremony will be held Oct. 25 at St. Benedict Cathedral)
Both Mary Rita and David say they are stunned by the nomination.
They have traveled very different paths on the way to this recognition.
Mary Rita’s Catholic roots go back generations. She was raised in New Mexico with nine siblings. Her extended family built a Catholic church and a school out there before moving to southern Indiana.
“My dad was killed when I was 15 in a tractor accident, and my mom started a store in Rockport.”
As a young woman, Mary Rita dated a non-Catholic, someone who “disliked Catholics.” She remembers, “That irritated me.” His family was always referencing the Bible, which challenged her to study the Scriptures. Soon, she was able to respond to their comments, and eventually “he became a Catholic. I married him, and he made his First Communion on our wedding day.”
They had five children, three boys and two girls. Today there are 11 grandchildren and five great-grandchildren. That marriage ended in divorce and Mary Rita went through the annulment process in the diocesan Tribunal.
As the Catholic Church changed after Vatican II, Mary Rita changed too. “In the sixties, they said women could be more involved in the church, and I was thrilled. I was the first woman cantor and the first woman on the parish council. I taught CCD, and I became the choir director.”
David was raised in nearby Grandview, a small town on the Ohio River. “I was raised Methodist Baptist,” he said. The two met when they were working at a grocery store in Rockport. “She came to work there, and I asked, ‘Do you want to go out?’”
They “went together seven or eight years,” and 30 years ago they were married. Dave is a convert to the Catholic faith. He is sad when he talks about his aunts and uncles who consider him an “outcast” now that he is Catholic.
“They don’t approve of what I’ve done,” he says, adding, “I feel like I’ve done the right thing.”
His entry into parish life was a little slower than his wife’s. “Father [Ed] Schnur asked me to be a greeter, and once I did that I felt more like part of the parish instead of a visitor.”
Then they both became extraordinary Eucharistic ministers, and David got involved in the planning process for the parish’s one-hundred fiftieth anniversary celebration.
“When Father Attila [Fröhlich] was there, he got me involved in anything he could think of.”
A few years ago, the couple established the “Homebound Commission” at the parish. On Sundays St. Bernard parishioners take Communion to the homebound and spend time with them. David says he was a little reluctant to participate at first, but found the people are “so appreciative. Once I got into it, I really enjoyed it.”
As they have worked together in the parish, they find that their faith has deepened. So has their respect for one another.
She says his greatest asset is his patience. She laughs as she says, “That’s the greatest strength. And he’s knowledgeable. He looks for an answer until he can find it.”
He responds that he’s been studying the Bible for the last five to six years. He nods in his wife’s direction and says, “That’s her doing.”
He mentions her “outgoing personality. She’s never met a stranger. We were going to Cincinnati to see the Vatican exhibit and when she got on the bus she waved her arm and said, ‘Hi, I’m Mary Rita.’”
She answers, “Well, Jesus always said, ‘Talk to your neighbor. Be good to your neighbor.’”
In their marriage there is a “lot of give and take,” Mary Rita says.
Of their work at the parish, David says, “She’s done so much. She deserves the award.”
She laughs, and says, “He deserves the award for putting up with me. I talk all the time, and he never says a word. We complement each other.”
They both agree that they enrich one another’s lives, and they agree that their marriage wouldn’t have survived without their faith.
She says that being a cradle Catholic, she was able to answer his many questions about the faith. “He has enriched my faith,” she says of her husband. Over the years, they have had many conversations about Catholicism. Once he asked “what it was like to go to Mass and not know what was going on. I told him it was boring.”
David says that he has attended one Mass celebrated in Latin, and “I like the way it is now.”
Despite all their work over the years for their parish they both were stunned to hear they were chosen to receive the 2009 Bruté award.
“I said, ‘Why me?’” Mary Rita remembers. “I really didn’t think I was good enough for it. I was astonished.”
David agrees. “I had no clue we were being considered. It’s great, but a whole lot of people are doing a whole lot more.”
Mary Rita said, “I was speechless.” David added, “I cried.”
E-mail maryann@themessage-online.org.