November 20, 2009
The Bishop's Forum
The other sacraments and the family
by Bishop Gerald A. Gettelfinger
The Sacrament of Confirmation: A promise kept!
Fourth of a Series
Confirmation — Part Two: The Celebration of the Sacrament of Confirmation is one of the responsibilities of a bishop who serves as the ordinary minister of the Sacrament of Confirmation. It is one of my greatest joys as a bishop.
A diocesan bishop may delegate ordained priests to administer the Sacrament of Confirmation to those already baptized Catholic. This comes up frequently when it is discovered in preparation for marriage that one has not been confirmed. In those situations I delegate the priest immediately.
In addition priests are empowered to administer the Sacrament of Confirmation in the ordinary reception of members into the Church through the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA).
Fathers and mothers play an essential role in nurturing the faith of their baptized children. They do it by exercising their faith openly at home through the simple disciplines of morning, meal and night prayers.
Siblings, too, play an important part in the way that expressions of faith in the home are made evident and celebrated. So often I read in the letters of candidates for Confirmation that they wish to follow in the footsteps of their brother or sister in being confirmed.
The family must become a central support to a young person in stretching out in matters of faith no less than that given to school and sports events. In reality it is even more difficult in a world that lures them away from the open practice of the faith. The home is the place where such support is bolstered.
How often does your family pray together? Are daily prayers a family experience? Is the baptism of a newborn a special moment for the prayerful gathering around the font? Does the anticipation of the reception of the Sacrament of Confirmation of an older child and sibling generate questions and discussions about its meaning around the family table? Does your family have a true commitment to fulfilling its responsibility to the larger community by fidelity to participation in Mass on Saturday or Sunday? Is the celebration of the Sacrament of Confirmation truly recognized as a high priority in the life of a young person by the family as a whole?
In many of our parish programs for Confirmation the candidates are encouraged to write a letter to the bishop. I read them all before their Confirmation.
Unfortunately, all too often, the letters seem to follow a format given to them by their catechists as if I was expecting answers to unasked questions. On the other hand, when the young people are given the freedom to express themselves and their concerns, the depth of faith they express is amazing as they struggle with their personal life issues and doubts.
There is a more troubling issue for me. Parents and godparents must take note if they are serious about their roles. Confirmation schedules are known months in advance.
Many times I discover from experience that Confirmation is considered just another optional event in the social calendar for families.This has been evidenced by candidates excusing themselves to participate in athletic events taking them away from their parish communities and their scheduled reception of the Sacrament of Confirmation. i.e. soccer weekends and school competitions. I recognize that there are rare exceptions that can be accommodated as our diocese is not that large.
Where are parents when it comes to insisting that their candidate remain faithful to their commitment to the date for receiving the Sacrament of Confirmation? I am not suggesting that they force their child to be confirmed. I do insist that parents not abdicate to the whims of a son or daughter who has made a personal commitment to something else. Such a decision only mirrors a lack of fidelity to their own faith.
In practice for 20 years, I don’t understand abdication of parental responsibility as the first teachers of their children. No event should alter such an important commitment as it is known so far in advance. This is not a personal matter, it is a family matter.
On the other hand, I applaud parents struggling to raise their sons and daughters in the faith and its practice. Having spent most of my life working with adolescents and youth, I understand that struggle. More importantly, I am most sensitive to the natural need of the young to break out of the cocoon of family life. Yet they are most reluctant to acknowledge their personal dependence on their parents and siblings for good example. That is a most painful, yet it is part of growing up!
Adolescence is a most difficult period in the life of a teenager. There are so many struggles bigger than they are for which they lack the experience to manage. Family issues, school problems, difficulties with studies, personal and emotional relationships with peers are but a few on a very long list. At Confirmation I use the image of a roller-coaster ride: life is like that with its moments of fear and doubt yet Jesus is always there to share the ride with each of us.
Pray daily in your family prayers for all candidates for Confirmation!
Next week is Thanksgiving! This series will continue afterwards.