November 20, 2009
The Christian Journey
Setting priorities for participation at parish Mass
BY FATHER JIM SAUER
We need to continue our reflections regarding a few more reasons our young parents do not participate in Sunday Eucharist either weekly or at all before we look at the more important question, which is “Why is Sunday Mass participation valuable to my family and me?” This examination is similar to the RCIA Lenten Scrutinies — we look at those areas of our lives in need of healing and affirm those which are thriving and life giving. This is an excellent example to use when new members ask “How long does the RCIA last?” Even we, who have been Catholics “since birth,” know the honest answer is “the RCIA lasts the rest of our lives” because we [and the Church as a whole] are always in need of greater conversion and faithfulness to Gospel living.
Most of our young parents claim that their children’s “extracurricular activities” take a toll on Sunday Mass attendance and other ways to be involved in parish life. Parents are simply running themselves ragged driving their children from one event to another. In discussing this topic further, the parents agree that their children may be overly involved in too many activities. Yet “keeping up with the Joneses” and “having a good resumé for college” exert great pressure on both parents and children. However, life demands choices; and parents may be doing their children a disservice by giving them a false sense that they have the time and energy to participate in everything and do it all well. A conflict of priorities occurs particularly when the choice must be made between Sunday Mass and an extracurricular event. When the extracurricular activity wins out, parents model to their children their priorities. Perhaps parents need to limit their children’s outside involvement in one or two activities per year for the sake of the entire family’s sanity and sanctity.
Some young parents use the classic argument that “our parents made us go to Mass every Sunday” or “we attended parochial school and had to go everyday.” My typical response is “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean! My parents did the same thing in my family. I attended 20 years of Catholic education and look at what happened to me!” The humor breaks the ice. Then we realize how we cannot continue blaming our parents for wanting to hand on to us their values as “building blocks” for our lives. (Interestingly this is exactly what our new parents are promising in the sacrament of baptism vis-à-vis their children!) At some point AS adults, we must decide if weekend Mass will be a priority in our lives and hold ourselves responsible for our own decision.
Finally, some parents admit that they have become plain “lazy” since Sunday is their only day to sleep in. (Thank God, God doesn’t take a day off! Why, our world would simply self-destruct!) We agreed that our laziness goes back to overwork and exhaustion. We also realized how we usually make time for anything else that is a priority in our life. Once something has become a habit, however old habits die hard, like re-starting a diet or exercise program. This is another reason for a lengthier infant baptismal program involving weekend Mass attendance to rekindle new behaviors.
Next week’s article will examine the most important question — “Why is participation in weekend Mass important to my family and me?” Grappling with this question and uncovering positive reasons can lead parents both to make weekend worship and parish involvement priorities in their lives.