December 11, 2009
Taking the Time to Make a Difference
Our family and friends and neighbors
BY PAUL R. LEINGANG
(Listen to Paul read this column | Weekly podcast)
At first it was jarring, then it became normal.
I was reading a set of letters and reflections from high school students in regard to the death penalty. The students were not writing about “the death penalty” as a matter of ethical or moral consideration. They were writing about the death penalty for Matthew “Eric” Wrinkles as a matter of ethical or moral consideration.
Wrinkles was sentenced to death by lethal injection for the 1994 murders of his wife and two of his in-laws in Evansville.
Considering the gravity of the subject, what was somewhat jarring at first were the references to the first names of the people involved.
The account of the killings and the sentence to be carried out were not abstract or distant. As one student wrote, these people are “our friends and neighbors.”
Because of the local, familiar nature of the matter, the references were not so often about “the convicted killer” but about “Eric.” The victims were Tony and Natalie and Debbie. Natalie’s mother is Mary, who has told Eric she has forgiven him.
These are the names of real people — and their names are being used in a way that is usually reserved for family and friends and neighbors.
* * *
One of the most engaging stories I have ever seen was written in a fund raising letter for the Sisters of Providence of St. Mary-of-the-Woods. Once again, the references are made to people by their first names. Two of them are Sister Betty and Sister Clara.
Sister Betty is on the pastoral care team at the sisters’ home, and she is described as having “a special, compassionate presence with sisters suffering from memory loss or struggling with mental illness.”
Sister Betty, who had been taking care of Sister Clara, heard her calling from her room. She was calling out, “Jesus . . . Jesus . . . Jesus.”
Sister Betty went to her and said, “Clara, I’m not Jeus, but can I help you?” Clara responded, “If you are not Jesus, who is?”
* * *
The letter from the Sisters of Providence continues, “You may never have thought of yourself as ‘being Jesus,’ but why not? . . . you are being Jesus when you support our life and mission.”
* * *
The gift of Christmas is the gift of a God who lets us know him by his first name. No longer is our creator the one whose name is unpronouncable.
Our God continues to be “King of kings” and “Wonder-Counselor” and is deserving of all the respect and honor we can humanly give — but nonetheless, as jarring as it may seem at first, we can call God by the name of Jesus, the son of Mary.
These are not the names of abstractions or of the distant and aloof. These are the names of family and friends and neighbors.
* * *
A few weeks ago, I received a letter which was sent to me not as “the editor” but to me by name. It was from Leon Benson, who was responding to a column I had written describing my own struggle between seeking justice and seeking revenge.
Leon offered his own perspective on that struggle. He is serving a 60-year sentence for murder, at the Wabash Valley Correctional Facility in Indiana.
It is still jarring for me to realize that the two of us know each other by our first names.
* * *
Here is a thought for the Christmas season. Give to another the gift God has given you. Get to know someone’s first name, and let someone else know yours.
This simple gift may make all the difference in the world, in your response to victims and killers, the innocent and those who have done evil, our family and friends and neighbors.
Comments are welcome at office@cfm.org or the Christian Family Movement, P.O. Box 925, Evansvsille, IN 47706-0925