January 8, 2010
Taking the Time to Make a Difference
About gossip and truth and mercy
BY PAUL R. LEINGANG
(Listen to Paul read this column | Weekly podcast)
In my radio and televison news room of several decades ago, we used to argue about how much of the truth we should tell or show. The discussions were not at all based on any religious principles, but on some uncertain standards of taste and propriety.
Such discussion seems antiquated today, but I have recently seen signs of renewed interest in these kinds of questions.
In those old days, for example, we would try to decide how graphic should be our television description of an automobile crash. Was it enough to say the driver had been killed? Would it be more useful, or sensational, to describe the horrific bodily injuries in graphic detail? How would the viewers react? How would family members react?
How should a sexual scandal be reported? The nearly universal fascination with the moral failings of movie stars and prominent athletes quickly comes to mind. How much of the truth should we tell? Or want to know?
My thinking about these things was prompted by an early January article in the Wall Street Journal by Jeffrey Zaslow. The opening paragraphs describes the reaction of a woman who oversees an after-school program at a church.
Children say things about each other that are harsh and hurtful, according to the article, and the words come too easily.
The woman at the after-school program gives the students three questions to ask themselves before they say something to or about someone else: “Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?”
These are similar to the “Rotary 4-way test,” I thought, and also to a particular teaching of Christianity.
The business code of ethics that was adopted by Rotarians dates back to the 1930s and 1940s. I first saw it on a plaque on the wall of a former employer:
“Of the things we think, say or do:
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build goodwill and better friendships?
Will it be beneficial to all concerned?”
According to a Rotary website, this statement of business ethics was created by Rotarian Herbert J. Taylor in 1932, who saved a depression-era company from failure.
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In the Internet world of today, the Wall Street Journal article points out that literally millions of hours of productivity have been lost in recent months as employees chatted about Tiger Woods.
That is a business reality.
My faith leads me to consider another reality, and to ponder the challenge of Jesus, who proclaimed, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall be shown mercy.” (Matthew 5:7)
I have more questions about mercy than I have answers, but it has always seemed to me to be a quality that is concerned about another person, far beyond simple matters of “the truth.”
Mercy does not deny the truth of another’s failings, even of another’s serious sin. But mercy seeks to dwell on the value of the other person — despite flaws and sins — as another person created by God and worthy of respect.
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Take the time to reflect on your relationships with family, friends, fellow employees or co-workers. Are there flaws and failings in their lives? But beyond what is true, is it kind or necessary to dwell on them?
Consider the impact you will have on children or neighbors if you are eager to tell all the truth you know about another.
Consider the impact you will have on others if you choose to avoid gossip. Or even to avoid repeating what you know is true.
Consider the reality that God loves us, despite the reality of our sinfulness.
Read the account of the Sermon on the Mount, and take the time to be merciful.
Comments are welcome at office@cfm.org or the Christian Family Movement, P.O. Box 925, Evansvsille, IN 47706-0925