January 29, 2010
OYAYA
The risk of youth ministry: Life may change
BY STEVE DABROWSKI (Office of Youth and Young Adult Ministry)
I was cleaning out old papers this week, and I found a receipt from a book store in Ann Arbor dating back to 2002. That small, yellow slip of paper caused a flood of memories to flow through my mind, and I began to think of Ali. Well, more precisely, I started to think of her mother. I think she’s still angry with me.
Most parents don’t really want their kids to be involved in youth ministry. Most parents want good kids, and they think being involved in youth ministry will keep their children from getting drunk, having sex or doing drugs. Well, here’s the bad news: That’s not what youth ministry is about. Don’t get me wrong, if your parish offers authentic youth ministry, then yes, you will see fewer incidences of certain behaviors, but that’s not the focus of youth ministry. Youth ministry is not about fun, games and popularity contests. If your parish’s idea of youth ministry is movie nights, sports nights, dances and pizza, then fire your youth minister and use the parish funds for better things.
Youth ministry is about Jesus Christ.
Okay, I’ll wait for you to gather yourself after reading something that we Catholics just don’t say very often. The goal of youth ministry is not to make your son or daughter an obedient, well-mannered, popular automaton. It is about introducing them to Jesus Christ, giving them opportunities to grow their relationship with him, and preparing them to live with him for eternity. And yes, the risk of good youth ministry is that your child may fall in love with Jesus so completely that their life will change. That’s what happened to Ali — and that’s the reason I have that receipt. I took four girls to visit a religious order, and Ali, well, she fell in love. She felt “at home,” and she knew this was how she wanted to live her life with Jesus.
The risk of authentic youth ministry is that your child may encounter Jesus Christ, and in so doing, they may begin to question what their life is about. Unfortunately, when this comes at the cost of popularity, most parents don’t want their children to attend. One city in our diocese brags about a “christian” club that attracts “the popular kids.” I know good Catholic families who allow their children to attend this club’s meeting nights rather than go to religious education. Why? Because their children will be popular, and evidently, that’s more important than where they will spend eternity.
In the years since Ali became known as Sister Mary John in the same community we visited in Ann Arbor, I’ve had several opportunities to talk to her mom. She regularly tells me how happy her daughter looks when they visit, and I think that has taken some of the heat off of me! Her mother’s heart wants nothing more than for her daughter to have a fulfilled and safe life. Would that more parents would follow that example — and take a risk.