February 5, 2010
Taking the Time to Make a Difference
When the news is bad . . .
BY PAUL R. LEINGANG
(Listen to Paul read this column | Weekly podcast)
What do you do when you hear bad news?
In recent days, I have heard quite a lot of bad news, about death and illness, among friends and co-workers.
At times, I tend to react by dwelling on how the bad news affects me. At other times, I am able to focus on how the bad news may be affecting the one who is bringing it. Other times I am simply at a loss and I don’t know what to do.
The morning that I learned that Sister Geraldine had died, I called a friend — in part to tell the news, in part to share the grief.
Sister Geraldine, a Sister of St. Benedict from Monastery Immaculate Conception in Ferdinand, directed the office for adult formation in our diocese. Her death from cancer came too soon.
Sister Geraldine and I worked together. We were friends. Her faith was an inspiration to me. She was joyful.
She and my wife worked together, too. They were friends. They too had so many connections, experiences, a relationship that included work and ministry and affection and inspiration.
The friend I called is someone who also had a multi-level connection with Sister Geraldine, and with me, with my wife, with Teens Encounter Christ, with other relationships within the church and community.
We talked about some of our experiences, some good memories, and we acknowledged the sense of loss each of us experienced.
* * *
In the Gospel of John, Jesus learns from Martha that her brother Lazarus has died. “When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who had come with her weeping, he became perturbed and deeply troubled.”
Although there are various interpretations of what this phrase really means, I take comfort in knowing that Jesus too was troubled by the reality of death, the death of a friend.
Jesus then asks where they have laid Lazarus, and he is invited to come and see.
His reaction? “And Jesus wept.”
* * *
Some of the others depicted in this passage see Jesus weeping and understand the reaction. “See how he loved him.”
Others are critical. This one who opened the eyes of the blind man, could have prevented the death of his friend, they say.
The Gospel writer again says that Jesus is perturbed. Perturbed is an unusual word, Scripture scholars say. It depicts more than a puzzlement or anguish. A footnote in the New American Bible notes a possible translation, that he “snorted in spirit.”
Then Jesus goes to the tomb and over the objections of those who know the reality of death, he calls his friend to come out. Lazarus does, and some of the witnesses to this event come to believe in Jesus. Others do not.
* * *
To me this is a strange and wonderful story.
Jesus, the bringer of Good News, learns of bad news. He is perturbed. He weeps. He goes to his friends.
He is the example of what we are to do.
Sorrow is real. Faith is stretched. Not everyone will be comforted.
* * *
As a Christian community today, we are called to visit the sick, to comfort the afflicted, and to bury the dead. No where in these challenges for Christian living does it say that we cannot weep, or grieve.
The news of a friend’s death may bring a sudden gasp, even anger: Why, God, did you let this happen?
This is the time to gather with friends and the ones you love, time to offer the comfort of your presence, even when words fail.
Parish and community structures can help or hinder the reality of death and the greater reality of resurrection. How we react as a community can make a difference.
Comments are welcome at office@cfm.org or the Christian Family Movement, P.O. Box 925, Evansvsille, IN 47706-0925