February 26, 2010
Taking the Time to Make a Difference
Time to ask directions, and to give them
BY PAUL R. LEINGANG
(Listen to Paul read this column | Weekly podcast)
At a recent lunchtime conversation, a friend told me about how her newly-licensed teen-aged daughter had gotten lost on the way home late one night. During a frantic phone call, the parents helped the daughter figure out where she was, as she reported to them the names of the streets and roads she was crossing.
At first, all of the names were unfamiliar. Finally, after a street name or two was recognized, the problem was solved, the direction home was determined, and even the initial mistake was identified: an initial wrong turn — a single error in unfamiliar territory — had brought about the lengthy travel in the wrong, and even more unfamiliar direction.
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I remember a similar thing happening to me on a vacation in Hungary — in a medieval city on a hillside, with narrow, winding streets and many areas where cars were prohibited. I was trying to follow directions to a parking area at some small distance from the hotel.
As I understood the directions, I was to go down the street, turn left at a major intersection, continue for several blocks and turn left again — to the large parking area that would be obvious.
I went down the street, turned left, turned left again, and found nothing that fit the description of the parking area. I went back, started over, went down the street, tried various left turns, and found nothing.
After more than a few attempts, going farther and father from the starting point, I came to the realization that I couldn’t even find my way back to start over.
I left my car and began seeking help. A local couple — even though they spoke no English — could understand the name of the hotel. In Hungarian and in a kind of universal sign language, they pointed me in the right direction. But then we both realized that they knew how to get there by walking, but not by driving. No cars were allowed along the way they had suggested.
I returned to my car, drove again a short distance, found some more people and stopped again. A woman whose first language was French somehow understood what I was asking, and pointed me in the right direction.
I found my starting point — and the source of my error. The clerk who had given me directions in the beginning had told me to “go down the street” — meaning, to “go along the street.” I had understood “down the street” to mean to go “along the street down the hill.”
At long last, I drove up the hill (along the street), turned left, turned left again, and found the parking area. It was easy. You couldn’t miss it.
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Here is a simple truth. While the goal in life may be known, some of us don’t even know where to begin. And those of us who have lost our way must first start over.
Here’s the challenging part. It is easy to identify with the one who needed help, but perhaps more important, we are called to be the ones who are asked to help another.
Many are on the road, seeking to find a destination, who could use our help. They may not even know the words to use to ask for our assistance – and that is all the more reason for us to take the time to listen and to watch and even to struggle to understand the searching of another. We may not know the words to use in response, but that is no reason to give up the effort.
Teens may not want to listen to a parent, but guidance is necessary. People who speak only the language of poverty may not understand the language of one who has learned new skills, but mentoring may be life-giving. Families from a foreign land may not know the language of the majority, but a welcome smile and an accepting gesture transcend the limits of the spoken word.
Jesus took the time to show us “the Way, the Truth and the Life” and made the most important difference ever made. It’s our task to continue his ministry.
Comments are welcome at office@cfm.org or the Christian Family Movement, P.O. Box 925, Evansvsille, IN 47706-0925