April 16, 2010
Convocation speakers support, defend marriage and family
Ryan Lampert and Leah Bender stand to be applauded during a presentation by Jim Healy at the Marriage Convocation, held April 10 at Good Shepherd Church in Evansville. Lampert and Bender plan to get married at St. Joseph Church in Jasper in September. (Message photo by Paul R. Leingang) Click for a larger version.
By PAUL R. LEINGANG (Message editor)
Despite what teens and emerging adults may say, “they cherish the opinion of their parents,” said Archbishop Joseph Kurtz of Louisville to an audience in Evansville.
Archbishop Kurtz and Jim Healy were featured speakers at a “Convocation on Marriage and Family Life” sponsored by the Diocese of Evansville in partnership with the Diocese of Owensboro and in conjunction with the Diocese of Belleville. About 190 persons participated, including priests, deacons, sponsor couples and others who are involved in marriage ministry, and several engaged couples.
Archbishop Kurtz, who chairs the U.S. bishops’ ad hoc committee on the de-fense of marriage, spoke first about conviction: “You should be convinced that you have a very important role in the lives of young people today,” he said.
He said support and defense of marriage was urgent, noting that there had been a 40 percent drop in the number of couples coming to the church for marriage, from the mid 1980s to 2004. Chil-dren “born out of wedlock” were five percent of babies born in 1965, but 40 percent of those born in 2009.
He noted the problem in contemporary society of “a surface commitment” in regard to friendship and marriage. The word “friend” becomes easily watered down when a “friend” can be easily deleted from a facebook page. He said it is “very dangerous” for us to drift into a definition of marriage that has “two adults coming together for mutual satisfaction.” He insisted that marriage is for “one man and one woman, open to life.”
He called for church leaders to be equipped and committed to make a difference in society. He cited the statistical upswing in the numbers of young people who say they are pro-life as an ex-ample that society can be changed.
Archbishop Kurtz said the need to get a license demonstrates that marriage is important to society, and not just a private matter. He pointed out that the church and state regulate marriage, “but we don’t create it; it is a received gift” and “a natural blessing.”
The bishops’ effort to support and defend marriage requires an understanding of complementarity — the true differences of a man and a woman.
He said the challenges faced in supporting and defending marriage are contraception, cohabitation, the prevalence of divorce and the need for defense of the traditional definition of marriage.
He offered a practical course of action, saying that bishops and priests need to talk and preach about marriage, and people who are newly married should talk to others. “People like to hear stories that are successful,” he said, and “None of us is relieved of the responsibility of telling that story.”
He said the Church has to be “marriage-friendly” — and that “the Church’s role at the end of a wedding is not complete.” He spoke of the success of a program that helped young couples meet together to support each other, and of the need to provide counseling and other helps for troubled marriages.
His final point was the need to acknowledge “who is in charge” and the need to be grounded in the awareness that “this is God’s plan.”
Archbishop Kurtz and the convocation participants then previewed a 12-minute video, one of five being developed by the U.S. bishops. The video, “Made for each other,” is designed to be used with a viewer’s guide and a resource booklet, to introduce Church catechesis on sexual difference and complementarity.
Healy, director of the Center for Family Ministry in the Diocese of Joliet, affirmed the value of marriage — incluing his own.
“My marriage is the best proof there is for the existence of God,” he announced. Marriage, just like God’s grace, gives a couple “more than you de-serve.”
Healy’s published materials on marriage and family are used in dioceses throughout the United States.
He emphasized the importance of marriage to society, noting that the marriage of any couple “is our marriage. We marry for the community. We are a vowed community.”
He went on to say, “We are not enough for each other. Only God is enough. We need support.”
Healy wove theology and practicality into his presentation on intimacy, comparing the disciples’ reaction to the Trans-figuration to the experience of a couple’s romantic love. The disciples did not want to come down from the mountain-top experience. A couple’s experience of romantic love is “a little sacramental taste of what God is like,” he said.
Healy went on to describe various levels of intimacy, and the continual need in marriage to die and rise again.
Approximately 40 convocation participants attended parallel activities coordinated by Christina Rosario from Catholic Charities. Afternoon workshops, in English and Spanish, covered a variety of topics related to marriage and family life.