June 25, 2010
The Second Half
Caught in the middle
BY DEACON JIM AND ANN CAVERA
One of our two-year-old grandsons found himself in a classic dilemma. He held one toy tightly while he tried to get another one just out of his reach. He couldn’t bring himself to let go of the thing he had in order to get something else. Caught between what was and what might be, he did what any toddler would do. He sat down and cried.
We know how he felt. We continue to wrap up parish responsibilities so that Jim can retire. Meanwhile, we wonder whether or not our house will sell. We drive through neighborhoods in the city where we hope to live, but we haven’t gone through any houses because we may need to stay where we are. Regardless of our age, it is always difficult to figure out how to handle the times when we are stuck between the old and the new.
“No one who sets a hand to the plow and looks to what was left behind is fit for the kingdom of God.” These words from this Sunday’s gospel sound harsh, especially to those of us who must struggle to let go of a familiar lifestyle when the future is a mystery. We take comfort in knowing we are not alone. High school graduates will soon leave our small town for college campuses in larger cities. Most will succeed, but every year some return home, unable to make the transition to an unfamiliar environment.
Last week young friends of ours had their first child. With their baby only a couple of days old, the parents still expect their lives to go on as “normal.” One of the wonderful things about babies is life will never be “normal” again. We begin to realize love changes our hearts in ways that make it possible to let go of our expectations.
A friend of ours languishes in the land of chemotherapy with nothing but uncertainty ahead. Even in the middle of a terrible illness, she has a peace and perspective that make it an honor to walk with her through this in-between-time.
Following Christ means we are called to focus forward, even when we don’t know what the future holds. Learning to let go is a skill that leaves us open to receive whatever comes next. At first, most of us let go of little things we don’t need; an extra coat or a few spare coins dropped into a St. Vincent de Paul basket. The more we are able to give up, the less we seem to need. We move on to getting rid of habits that keep us stuck in place: sugary soft drinks, too much TV; anything external that weighs us down. One day we realize our inner space is more cluttered than we want to admit. We begin doing away with gossip, lack of forgiveness, selfishness and other negative attachments that have kept us from moving forward. Like any skill, detachment is mastered through practice.
We have no idea what the future holds for us or anyone else. We do know the space between the past and future is a great place for spiritual growth. When the time does come to move forward, the less we have that pulls us backwards, the faster we can travel.
Deacon Jim and Ann Cavera are former residents of Evansville; their award-winning column is a regular feature of the Message. Contact them at www.catholicseniorspirit.com.