February 11, 2011
Chris Stefanick
Speaker talks to Jasper students about chastity
Kyle Freyberger, David Birge and Honor Hoffman talk with Chris Stefanick before his talk on “Chastity” at Holy Family School in Jasper. They are students at John Paul the Great High School in Jasper. (Message photo by Mary Ann Hughes) Click for a larger version.
By MARY ANN HUGHES (Message staff writer)
Chris Stefanick doesn’t mind acting the clown if it gets the attention of young adults — because he realizes as a former young adult himself, that’s often the only way to get them to listen.
He’s the director of Youth, Young Adult and Campus Ministry for the Archdiocese of Denver, and he was in Jasper last week talking to students from John Paul the Great High School and seventh and eighth graders at Holy Family School, both in Jasper.
His topic? Chastity.
He began his speech on a very light note, singing popular songs with the students and showing them funny photos in a slide show presentation. Then he got serious, telling them about St. Maria Goretti, a young Italian girl who died after being stabbed 14 times by an attempted rapist.
The next day, as the young girl lay dying in the hospital, she was asked if she forgave Alessandro, her attacker. Stefanick told the students that she responded, “Yes, I want him to be in heaven one day.”
Years later, Alessandro had a dream in which he received 14 roses, one for each stab wound. When he was released from prison, he visited Maria’s mother, and asked her to forgive him. She answered, “Maria forgave you . . . . I forgive you.”
It was “lust” that drove Alessandro to do what he did, not “love,” Stefanick told the students. “Love’s opposite is lust,” he said.
Then he asked them “Who invented sex? Who thought this up?”
The John Paul the Great students knew. “God,” they answered.
Yes, Stefanick said. “He invented it for two reasons. One, to bring new life into the world, and two, to unite a married couple more deeply in love.”
He said that he had not come to Jasper “to tell you that sex is evil, but to tell you to say ‘yes’ to authentic love.”
And, he asked, “what is the obvious consequence of sex outside of God’s plan?”
The answer: sexually transmitted diseases or STDs.
They are “everywhere,” and they are “messing with lives in so many ways.”
He wanted the students to know that “there is more to you than your body. There is your heart; there is your soul,” he said, adding, “God has hot-wired you for a long-term commitment.”
He admits that sometimes that’s not the message the students are hearing. “The movies tell us that sex equals love. You need to know the difference between the junk you see in the movies and authentic love,” he said, adding “often behind promiscuity is a broken heart.”
He suggested that the students think carefully about their relationships in high school and in college so they “don’t affect the biggest relationship of your life.” And when making moral decisions, they must use their brains, not their feelings.
There are four paths he suggested they choose as they strive to lead chaste lives:
- Don’t ask “how far is too far,” which he compared to asking “let’s see how close we can get to the traffic;”
- Stay out of wrong situations;
- Keep your thoughts clean;
- Trust your heavenly Father.
He urged the students to go to Confession on a regular basis, noting he has talked to priests who have heard confessions from people in their 80s who confess what they did in high school. “Don’t let that be you. Don’t let that shame isolate you.”
Stefanick urged the girls to “raise the bar,” and reminded the boys that they have two choices: knight in shining armor or barbarian jerk.
“Don’t forget who you are. You are precious,” he said, pointing to a sketch of the crucifixion. “You are worth dying for.”
Getting the word out about ‘true love’
When John Ginter, a student at John Paul the Great High School was asked about the presentation on chastity by Chris Stefanick, he said, “Chris wants to get the word out about true love. He presented on where one could find true love, and not the fake love most of the world offers today. There is a difference between ‘I love you’ and ‘I LOVE YOU.’ The first type of love is a lie just so that one could use somebody. The second love is so much love that one would die for somebody else.”
He added, “Purity means waiting until one can give someone his or her whole life. That is the deepest kind of love there is. So many teens put themselves in risky situations, where they think there is love, but somebody is really using them. One can die from this type of behavior. Thousands of people die from STDs every year.
“Chris gave the facts straight out. He used a slideshow to keep the crowd interested. His message of purity and chastity will hopefully affect teens everywhere throughout the United States of America.”