March 4, 2011
Neighbor to Neighbor described as catalyst for change
By PAUL R. LEINGANG (Message editor)
“He has great potential. He just doesn’t follow through.” That is what teachers and counselors used to say about James Groves.
That’s how he remembers his formative years, living on Evansville’s west side.
“As a kid, and as an adolescent, I took the easy way — so I thought at the time. It turned out to be the hardest,” Groves said in a recent interview.
He “tried college” but he acknowledges that his “motivation was small” and that he just wanted to “party all the time and hang out with like-minded individuals.”
In his early thirties, Groves found himself “consistently un-deremployed and battling with daily addiction.” Things went from bad to worse and “the ne-gative consequences were getting worse and worse.”
At age 34, Groves found himself unemployed and homeless.
That’s when he also found himself in the Neighbor to Neighbor program at Catholic Charities — referred there by his case manager at the homeless shelter.
“I was really out of options, spinning my wheels, setting unrealistic goals.” His life began to change when he met Terri Lautner-Uebelhor and started attending the classes.
“Neighbor to Neighbor was the right thing at the right time. I started setting realistic, measurable, attainable goals. I learned how to take small action steps to reach those goals.”
Groves said he had “always had a concept of a higher pow-er,” and he appreciated the way Neighbor to Neighbor is “religion based but not forced on you. It gave me the opportunity to develop my understanding of God.”
Groves learned that it was important to write down his goals because then, “they be-come real, they become concrete.” He wrote down his goal, “to join a church and attend regularly.”
His first action step was to look around at churches nearby — and St. Mary Church was the closest.
“One morning I went into the church and instantly felt welcome.” He met someone connected with the RCIA. “It was exactly what I needed at that time.”
While going to the RCIA pro-cess, he saw members of the St. Vincent de Paul Society, “a group always upbeat in what they were doing.” He was introduced to them, and felt “more and more welcome” in the parish.
At Easter in 2006, Groves was confirmed and fully initiated in the Church. He continues as a St. Mary’s parishioner, and is active in the St. Vincent de Paul Society.
The combination of Neighbor to Neighbor and achieving his goal of joining a church added up to “a life-changing experience. I can’t overstate that at all,” Groves said.
In Spring 2006 he went back to college, first to Ivy Tech and then to the University of South-ern Indiana. He earned his bachelor’s degree in social work, then continued his pursuit. He served two internships, and in the Fall of 2009, he co-facilitated a Neighbor to Neighbor group with Lautner-Uebelhor.
In the Summer of 2010 he received his master’s in social work, and early this year he re-ceived his state license in Indiana.
Mending fences with his father is another of his goals and he is taking steps forward. “My relationship with my father is stronger than it ever has been,” he said. And his relationship with his 13-year old daughter is also stronger.
“Neighbor to Neighbor is a program of second chances,” Groves said in summary. “Every-one has the capacity to change, and Neighbor to Neighbor was the catalyst for that.”
He paused, then added, “I was lost.”
Groves is now employed full time at a local treatment center, “working with people who are addicted.”
He recently celebrated his fortieth birthday, and he continues his own daily program of recovery.