July 29, 2011
NFP Awareness Week — God’s love, our love, our family
BY EMILY SNIPES, CATHOLIC CHARITIES
For the past nine years I have been a practitioner with the Holy Family Center for Life in our diocese, teaching those who seek to learn Natural Family Planning (NFP). Most often they are engaged couples who are looking to learn the Creighton Method as they start their married life, or married couples seeking something new, but occasionally I encounter a couple who, after a long and treacherous path, are searching for help in achieving a pregnancy. I want to share one couple’s (whose names have been changed) story with you.
When I met Jeff and Angie they had been married for nearly 10 years and had been trying to conceive for the past seven or eight of those years. They both were raised Catholic, were active in their faith and parish, and longed to have a big family. They sought out NFP as a last resort after their bank account could no longer help them seek other medical treatment.
My first meeting with them was difficult. I could tell that they both felt defeated and Jeff even expressed that they no longer had hope in that dream of having a large family. Angie on the other hand was still clinging to the idea that maybe NFP might be able to help. She had certainly done her research, knew what the Catholic Church taught and had a list of questions as well as defenses for why they had previously sought In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) treatments.
Introductory sessions
To schedule an introductory session please contact a Holy Family Center for Life, Inc. office:
EVANSVILLE
Holy Trinity Church
219 N.W. Third Street
Evansville, IN 47708
812-421-2030
JASPER
Memorial Hospital and Health Care Center
800 W. Ninth St.
Jasper, IN 47546
812-481-8420
FORT BRANCH
Holy Cross Church
305 E. Walnut Street
Terri Ziliak 812-753-3746
Lori Spindler 812-753-3360
SANTA CLAUS
Lisa Cook 812-544-2903
For more information —http://www.ourcatholicmarriage.org.
We discussed the Creighton Method that our center teaches and I explained that in some cases both local doctors and those at the Pope Paul VI Institute may be able to offer some insight into why they have been unable to achieve a pregnancy and then look at possible ways to increase those chances — all in ways that respect the teachings of the Catholic Church.
They began using the Creighton Method of charting and had several tests done over the next year which revealed a medical condition that would likely not allow them to conceive naturally. In discussing this with them it was apparent they were not ready to give up and were already seeking other medical interventions in larger cities. Angie mentioned finding a clinic in Chicago that offered high success rates and a refund if they did not have a live birth.
It was difficult to see the desperation in their faces as they left that afternoon. Both had expressed their anger and stated they felt like God was punishing them. Aside from encouraging them to seek counseling, I asked to consider whose will they were following.
They left and thanked me for my time. I wasn’t sure what had happened to them and often wondered if they sought out treatment in Chicago or if their marriage had even survived.
Three years later after they had moved several hours away, Angie contacted me to share that they had adopted a baby girl. After all the mandatory questions that follow such an announcement (such as eye and hair color, weight, height) our conversation went something like this:
“Jeff and I wanted to thank you,” Angie said.
My response was, “Obviously, this was a gift sent from God, not me.”
Angie replied, “Yes, it was a blessing that we prayed for, but you opened our eyes and brought us back to our faith. You encouraged us, you were honest with us, but didn’t make any promises. We did seek treatment in Chicago, but as we sat in the doctor’s office and I listened to him guarantee that he could give us a baby in a year, we both recalled what you said to us the last time we met. Jeff and I remember you asking if we were serving our will or God’s, and we left.”
She went on to state, “We stopped praying for a baby and started praying for God’s guidance. Then, we met a couple at our new parish who had adopted three children, and they shared their experience with us. After that we just felt called to seek adoption as a means of creating a family.”
This couple and so many others separate their desire to have children from the truth they know in their hearts, that God is our creator and the author of life, and that science can certainly offer us help, but not true healing.