November 18, 2011
Worship speaker says forgiveness is hard work, but rewarding
By BILL JACKSON (Special to the Message)
Forgiveness can be hard work, but the rewards can be significant.
That’s the message of Dr. Terry Hargrave, who will conduct workshops on forgiveness in Evansville Dec. 1-2.
“It’s hard primarily because there is pain involved in forgiveness,” Dr. Hargrave said in a phone interview. “The emotional pain is real, not just connected with the loss of something tangible. We take the pain of violations of love really personally because it challenges our identity. Identity and safety questions are present in all situations where people get violated.”
“It’s difficult to let go of that,” Dr. Hargrave continued. “There’s always a possibility somebody will do that to you again.”
Dr. Hargrave is a national known expert on family issues. He is professor of marriage and family therapy at Fuller Seminary in Pasadena. Calif., and president of Amarillo Family Institute. He has been featured on network television shows and in newspapers and magazines. He has written 11 books and numerous professional articles.
His workshops here are sponsored by the Tri-State Coop, a consortium of counseling agencies. They are Catholic Charities of Evansville, Deaconess Cross Pointe, Samaritan Center, Southern Hills Counseling Center, Southwestern Behavioral Healthcare, Inc., and the University of Southern Indiana Social Work Department.
A two-day, all-day workshop on Thursday and Friday, Dec. 1 and 2, is designed for mental health professionals. The workshop qualifies for continuing education hours required for licensed professionals. Cost of the workshop is $110. Students pay $50.
A free evening workshop for the general public is planned for Thursday, Dec. 1, at 7 p.m. Both workshops will be at the Catholic Center, 4200 N. Kentucky Ave. in Evansville.
Dr. Hargrave said he would like for the public to take away from the evening workshop the understanding that forgiveness creates possibilities for relationships and for moving forward in our lives.
“For me to forgive, I have to put love and trust back into the relationship,” he said. “I can forgive by moving forward. I can forgive by not letting (a violation) affect my future relationship.”
Dr. Hargrave said he hopes to teach professionals to understand that forgiveness involves stopping violations and to show them how to teach empowerment — “That’s an essential quality” — and techniques involving compassion.
Don Gatwood, supervisor of counseling services at Catholic Charities, said it is the hope of the Tri-State Coop that the workshop will provide counseling professionals within the area “the tools toward helping people better deal with hurtful situations and learn to forgive and reconcile with people and situations they are presented with.”
To register for either the professionals workshop or the public workshop, or for more information, contact Janie Chappell at Deaconess Cross Pointe, 800 947-6789 or 812-471-4514, or e-mail her at janie.chappell@deaconess.com.